the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
