Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
