At least make sure they are 18
Why
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
