he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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