I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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