you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
