fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
