I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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