His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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