Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
