omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
even my farts smell like vagina
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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