I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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