I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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