I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I need help removing her.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
