he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is my gift to your gina
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
