69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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