I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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