dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
