I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
