it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize