So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Randomize
