im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
