I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got inside last night via doggy door
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