Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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