I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
