We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize