matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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