Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
