I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
