I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
