What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
