ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
