just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
