I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
