You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
