he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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