apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He uses pillows to masturbate.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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