Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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