What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
