I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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