I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
