some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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