My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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