craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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