Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
