New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
