I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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