I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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