break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
and you fell through a lawn chair
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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