zippers are such a cool invention
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
