perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize