I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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