I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
