that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
