ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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