i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She announced her abortion via fbk
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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