Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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