And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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