they need to just BURY HIM!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
how does that bad decision feel?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
