So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
