i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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