Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize