i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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