Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
